Sunday, May 18, 2008


I worry too much. I know this. Probably always have, but med school has brought out a new kind of worry monster from me. My worry d'jour is the one probably everyone has. The worry about the future. I worry about what is going to be expected of me.

I know that I am SOOOOO looking forward to 3rd year and moving toward less nightly studying and more "on the job" training. But with that comes a different kind of expectation. Attendings, residents, and most people in general, expect you to be there all the time, and give up the rest of your life to do it. Don't believe me? Ask yourself about the last time your doc didn't get back to you when you thought they should have. Or that time you couldn't actually talk with the doctor when you called the office. Did you think, "good for that doc for having a life of their own. Way to keep life in balance!" ? Or did you think: "Damn doctor. They never really care about their patients. They're all overpaid and underworked."? My money's on the latter. And it scares me.

All I ever wanted was a good profession to complement a good life. But sometimes I worry that I'm in way too deep and don't fully comprehend what I've gotten myself into.


The Maiden Metallurgist said...

I worry about everything all the time. I don't think anyone is ever happy enough or secure enough or confident enough to avoid the occasional bout of self-doubt. I think you'll be fine if you just keep this in mind: "All I ever wanted was a good profession to complement a good life." Remember your core values and you'll stay on track, despite whatever happens to your colleagues.