And we're one third through it!

I am so excited that neurology is over! Tonight J and I and a bunch of med school peeps are headed downtown to Great Divide Brewing Co. for their release party for two new beers. It should be a lot of fun. I'll take pictures and for once maybe I'll post them!

To leave everyone on a fun note, since I promise I didn't actually hate neurology, I have a great patient story, two actually.

#1: I walked into the patient's room (one who was admitted for altered mental status and what was starting to look like a possible dementia) and asked how the patient was doing that morning. Patient says: "I'm great doc. Ask away, I'm ready to think!"

#2: A patient came in after losing consciousness. He was in a coma. This was the third time he'd been in this year. He continually was stopping his insulin and skipping dialysis, having a seizure, going to the hospital, getting righted and heading home. Not the fun part. The good part is what his daughters did the last time he came in. He had a small stroke and couldn't really remember anything afterward. So what did his daughers do? He asked for a cigarette and they told him he quit smoking 3 years ago. He couldn't remember so he just believed them. And quit smoking cold turkey.

Have a great weekend!

Neuro...so/so

Well, the final verdict is, I didn't completely hate it, but I sure don't like it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to walk in this morning and my patient will have died. This is not a rarity in neuro unfortunately. Brain tumors are not good news.

But, I don't have to love everything. And in fact, I'm relieved that I don't! Looking at how I feel about neuro (and if I'm honest, inpatient medicine in general) it makes me feel certain that by the end of the year I'll know for sure what I want to do. More and more often I think that something is OB/Gyn. The lifestyle scares the crap out of me. But not all residency programs are as scary as the one I did my rotation at. I think a small community program might just be ok. I still have a lot of thinking about it to do. And I still love psych. Also, I have two weeks of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation coming up, and that sounds pretty fun too! I can't rule that one out either.

I was able to be the first assist on an oophorectemy (I helped my preceptor remove an ovary) and I haven't felt that excited about a piece of medicine for months. I think it might be a sign. I know I can choose anything I want, especially because I have such a supportive hubs. And residency won't last forever, so it's silly for me to choose something that has an "easier" residency but that I like less. Lots to think about I guess.

But, next week is vacay! I will write more later, but for now, it's back to the wards. TWO MORE DAYS!!!!!!

3 days down 17 to go...

So, I thought for sure I'd love neurology. After all, I've pretty much loved everything else, and I did a master's in neurobiology. But no. I have never been so bored in my life. I got there at 7 yesterday and didn't get done rounding until 1pm. Gross. Psych is looking better and better everyday. I can deal with a little cognitive dissonance for a career that I like to do.

Not that I wouldn't like OB/Gyn, I definitely love that field. But the lifestyle is hell and frankly, I find myself liking my life so much better, regardless of what I do during the day, if I have a lot of free time for my real life. When I think about it, forensic psych might actually be perfect for me. I had a lot of angst out of college about whether to try to apply to law school or med school. I decided med school because I like science more than liberal arts in general (but not always). This might be the best compromise.

At least neuro is not the longest rotation, and not the longest hours. But it's not a lot better than OB/Gyn was, and the time isn't filled with babies. No call. No weekends. I should not complain about that one.

But the best thing is: there's a wedding this weekend! Hooray! A couple of our college friends are finally tying the knot. It's going to be great to see everyone and reminisce a bit. Plus it'll be nice to catch up on everyone's lives. Everyone has accomplished so much! I'm very excited. Just need to get through, really one more day. Tomorrow we are in the epilepsy clinic, which should at least be really busy, and I am pushing to have my preceptor on Friday afternoon, which is always the best part of my week!

Wow. That was a boring post. But I felt like I had to write since it had been a while. I'll write again later about my evil OB attending and what he wrote on my eval. Jerk face.

Cognitive Dissonance

So, I'm conflicted these days. I really love psychiatry. I never thought that was possible. I often think it would be the perfect compromise between trying to have a great personal life and a rewarding professional life. It seems to be for my attending. It would be a bit hard for me because I don't know as much about matching into psychiatry as I have learned about OB/Gyn or anesthesia. But, not so hard that I couldn't do it. The main thing stopping me from doing more research is my own stupid ego.

Think about it this way. If you were going to be a physician, would you want to be able to offer medical advice to your friends and family? Or do you want to send them off to a "medical doctor." After all, what is 4 years of medical school worth if not to end up a medical doctor? There's some excitement and privelege in being allowed to see someone from the inside in surgery, or help deliver their new baby. I know that the absence of those things does not make psych any less noble a profession, but it's just not what one, at least this one, pictures when they go into medicine. "Is there a doctor on the plane," "Well sort of, I"m a psychiatrist." Does that count?

Alas, I have a whole year to figure it out. But this is my last week to really see psych and all it offers. I was always raised to believe that women can do everything that men can do, that I am capable of anything, and somewhere along the way, I determined that that should be the hardest thing possible. Maybe that's just not the lesson I should have taken from it. Maybe it's fine to want to be there when my future kids have band concerts (blah) or swim meets, or (please) track meets. And maybe, just maybe, there's an area of medicine where that's possible.

What do you think? Does being a "head shrinker" make one less of a doctor?

My Psychation!

It's been a fabulous 2 weeks! I have to say that maybe I was premature declaring I would be an OB/Gyn. I am having an excellent time in psychiatry. I actually look forward to going in every day. The patients are incredibly interesting and my attending is a great mentor and lets me ask the patients anything I want (with some direction for those patients that have a violent history!). The lifestyle is really great and I think that's something that has to be considered. Let's just say it's on the list!

And even better, during psych I've actually had time to do things! Last Saturday J and I hiked our first 14er together. He's done some before but I never had. We climbed Mt. Bierstadt. It was definitely harder than I expected! But the view from the top was pretty great:



We brought the dogs with and they had a blast. The big guy kept laying on the snow on his back and squirming around until he slid down upside down and backward. As soon as he got to the bottom of the snow field he would run back up to the top and do the same thing again. All the people watching thought he was pretty hilarious.



Mugs had way more energy than the rest of us and on the way down he would run in circles around us on the snow. Then he slept for three days. So did the rest of us. I actually started to feel a bit under the weather after the trip, so I felt a little down for a few days, but I'm getting better in time for my long weekend! It's hard to believe that in 3rd year so far I've had 2 three day weekends. I really thought that by this time I would feel like I've been hit by a truck. I've been lucky so far. It also makes me think about what I really want in a career. I am happiest when I work normal hours and have free time. I love medicine, but I'll never be so gung ho that it will be my whole life. Maybe that makes me less of a physician, but I think it makes me human. I do have my preceptor today, and I think it's good that I will get the opportunity to compare how I feel about OB to whatever I am doing at the moment. Should be interesting.

The fourth of July should be a good time. J and I are going to run a 4M race in the morning and then head out to a BBQ with his fam. That night we're going to a soccer game and fireworks show. Friday should be great too! We're planning on going for a hike in the morning and stopping by Oscar Blues in Lyons. We are huge fans of Dale's Pale Ale and have been looking forward to going to Lyons to check it out for quite some time. Who knew that it would be 3rd year when I had time to do it!?

Things to Learn in Psych

Number 1: Never place anything heavy or throwable within reach of patients.
Number 2: If you forget rule number 1, be quick to duck.
Number 3: No neckties for men, no dangly earrings for the ladies.
Number 4: Just expect to be surprised, and work on your poker face.
Number 5: Did you know Mensa is a "support group for gifted and talented people" like my patients?!

Overall, it's pretty fun thus far. Something new everyday. And something fun at home everyday since I have all this free time! The dogs are mucho grateful. And I am grateful for the peace and quiet. J has been working like crazy on finishing the garage, and he's getting pretty close. I'm pumped to park inside again. I have been spoiled. Plus it'll be nice to get the contents of the garage back in the garage and not in the house. But he's been really quick on this one and I appreciate it!

For those of you without a huge commute, remember it's bike to work day! Not very feasible for me, but hopfully I'll be able to make it up later on when I am closer to home!

Well, time to get going. Gotta walk the dogs and take a peak at the materials for our "student study session" this afternoon. Did I mention that's done at 3!?

End of the (Very) Beginning

So, I have one block of 3rd year behind me. One sixth of the way to being a 4th year medical student. Baby steps, people, baby steps. In the end, I found a new love in my life. I hope that the OB-Gyn world will work out for me. But I do have 5/6 left to change my mind. If anything keeps me from doing this, it will be the lifestyle. It's a tough balancing act, deciding on having a fam, being the best doctor I can be, and really enjoying what I do. I have great support, so I know it's very possible. But to me, the whole thing is like breaking in a new pair of shoes that you absolutely loved and HAD to have. It costs a lot and you know it's going to hurt while your getting them just right. I guess I will keep shopping over the next 10 months and hopefully find just the right pair. I know myself though, and more often than not, when I really love something I tend to know it right away.

Yesterday I started my psychiatry rotation, and can I just say - I couldn't be more thankful that it's only 4 weeks. I am working with a "dangerous population." And I'm not super thrilled about it. But, my preceptor has promised me every Friday afternoon off, no weekends, and getting out by 4pm every day. There is a reason why I picked it for summer. I am quite sure, though, that I'll have a lot of stories. I also don't have to be there until 9am. So, I'm off to take the dogs for a walk. We finally have some nice weather!