Before the weekend

Well, since I'll probably be out of touch for the next few days I thought I'd post one more time before the big holiday weekend. Labs were cancelled today, so I got the afternoon off. When I called to let J know I would be home all afternoon, he said "good, now you can make me a pie." Now, this was an obvious imitation of South Park's Cartman, but I got to thinking, ya know, I've never actually made a pie...

So I spent my afternoon making a strawberry pie from scratch. And I have to say, in the future I'll be buying pie crusts.

It's definitely making the house smell great. The only unfortunate side effect is the fact that I forgot to stick a cookie sheet under it until about half way through baking, so we had some drippage. Here's what the pie looked like before I ate a way too big piece:



And between you and I, I'll be having another rather large piece later on!

As for the holiday, we're taking a long bike ride downtown tomorrow morning to kick things off. Then J's sister is throwing a party so we will be going to her boyfriend's house for that. I still am not sure how the day will end but it should be fun no matter what.

Saturday I think the plan will be to visit the breweries in Ft. Collins. I'm looking forward to it a lot because it's so fun up there. There's also this little cafe called Panino's that's really great. I used to eat there before I gave a big review lecture in grad school. It was right across the street from my office. And I never paid for parking the entire 2 1/2 years I was there because I parked in their parking lot. Good memories.

Well, I'm off. I'm looking forward to a great weekend and hope you all are too!

Excited!

Oh my god I'm so excited I could pee my pants. J has a work trip to...wait for it...my favorite place....San Francisco! Wahoo!! We're not completely sure which week in July it's going to be, the big corporation he works for doesn't so much care about deals on airfare. But southwest is pretty reasonable and nothing seems to be selling out too soon. The best part is having a great trip to look forward to. Now when I get bored and surrounded by nothing but way too hot weather outside and Dr. Phil on TV, I can look up all the fun things there are to do there. And they can be things just I want to do, because J will be working all day. Wine tastings here I come! I can't wait to go back to Ghirardelli square and see the condos they had started building last year when we were there and the cute shops, and of course, the ocean. I was so excited last night when he told me (right before bed, what was he thinking!?) that I couldn't get to sleep for hours thinking of all the great stuff to do.

The only downside of the day (I have the day off, looks like I'll be going in tomorrow afterall) is that I have to bring the big guy to the vet. So, that doesn't make me happy, because it doesn't make him happy. But he's been sick for a week now, and it's time to figure out what's going on. I think he might just be forcing himself to stay sick so he can keep eating the "bland food" that the doc prescribed last week - it's rice and beef and he eats it so fast I'm not even sure he tastes it. Anyway, his appointment is coming up so I better skadaddle. I think I'll stop at the library for a travel book too!

Disgusting and Delightful

Well, it's been an interesting week to say the least. It started out with us visiting our friends in Golden. We got to see a lot of people we hadn't seen for a long time and found lots of fun things to do in the coming weeks. It should be great. I am always amazed at how, even though we all came from the same starting gate (college) we've gone on to all lead different and in their own ways interesting lives. It makes me feel kind of proud really.

The next day in lab, I came across the first thing in all of medicine that has made my stomach turn. Now, I have to preface with the fact that I truly appreciate the gift that the cadaver donors have given us. It truly is the most effective way to understand human anatomy in all its glory. And in all its nastiness. I'm a teaching assistant for the physician's assistant and physical therapy students, and for the first time they were opening the chest cavity. This is always an exciting day in the lab because everyone is interested to see just what makes us tick, literally. Be warned, the rest is quite gross, so hide your eyes if you're squeamish. One of the PA groups opened up the chest to find, not a normal lung, but a giant glob of, well, goo. Looking at it (like a pathologist, here comes the food analogy) was like looking at severely overcooked macaroni, and me being curious me, I had to stick my hand in it. I mean, in anatomy texture is everything, it tells nerve from vessel, muscle from fat (as if the translucent yellow color didn't do that anyway...) etc. Never in my life has my stomach actually turned upon feeling something until I stuck my hand in that goo. I honestly thought I might be sick. I won't go into the details of what it felt like, but suffice it to say, nasty. I had no idea what it was at the time, but I was quite sure it was not a lung, nor was it ever a lung. I was right about that. The professor found her way over (remember, imangine tiny little Edna from the incredibles) and told us all it was what happens to infection during the embalming process. Then she grabs a bucket, reaches in and scoops it all out while we all stare aghast (with mouths closed, that's one mistake you only make once) as if it were nothing. And to her (after 20+ years in the lab) it probably was. Turns out the cadaver had an abscess in the pleural cavity and during embalming the protein mixed with the fixative and voila, gooey mess. Once all of the goo was out, the lung was found, compressed into a tiny fist sized mass at the very back of the thoracic cavity. The cause of death of this cadaver was COPD, and I'll give you the obstructive part, but I think there may have been more to it than emphysema might infer.

But moving on from the disgusting, onto the delightful. On Wednesday last week I flew back to the homeland to see the fam. I am not a great flier. I get really nervous and I suppose I could be described as a "white knuckle" flier. I'm too embarrased to talk with my doc about getting some meds prescribed, so I medicate in my way with a prescription for vino. Before J brought me to the airport I polished off the organic white I got from whole foods for just such an occasion (to be fair there was only one large glass left!), then made up a mojito, a double, and we headed off to the airport. By the time my "treatment" was over and I made it through security (why am I always behind the person who has 47 million electronic devices to dig out of their carryon, seriously, who needs two laptops at a time?) I had to run to catch the final boarding call for my flight. But I made it. And unfortunately it was the most turbulent flight I'd ever been on. I told myself I wouldn't buy a drink on the flight, but no sooner had I asked for my water than the pilot gets on the overhead to explain the turbulence. One of our breaks on the landing gear was overheated and they had to let the landing gear hang out to cool off. He tried to say it was "something that just happens at high altitude." Right. In anycase, this is what I had in front of me in a matter of minutes.



Unfortunately, within another matter of minutes, I had a red mess as I spilled my little glass all over with nothing but my little cocktail napkin to clean it up, so my copy of the Onion was lost to its higher purpose of cleaning up my wine spill. Luckily there was still plenty in my mini bottle. Crisis averted. When we eventually landed, there were fire trucks waiting for us, high altitude my arse.

But, I made it home and had a great, albeit short, trip. I tried my hand at the Wii for the first time, and I came home actually sore from the experience. Time to take up weight training I think. So, so sad when little miniature tennis makes you hurt.

I got back to high altitude on Saturday (sans break incident this time) and pretty much slept the whole day away.

Sunday I had the privlege to attend a birthday party for one of my good friends from med school. She made a point of telling everyone there how much we all mean to her, and all of her family and friends from when she was little were there. It was a great time and I felt really special for being able to participate. I am glad that med school has been bringing unexpected rewards such as friends like LG. It makes the whole process so much more bearable.

Well, it's a holiday week, and it might turn out to be an even shorter week for us than it is usually. The PAs are the only group scheduled in the lab on Thursday, and in the interest of having a long weekend, they are probably coming in tomorrow, leaving me with 4 days off. Sweet.

Pity party - you've been warned

It's been a really fun weekend. Yesterday we saw some old friends and had a really good time. It did get me thinking though. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a very strange place. My friends, and J's friends too, pretty much fall into 3 categories. The first are the ones who are married, both working, with no kids. These people are really living it up. They're traveling, getting themselves situated into wonderful homes where they are ready for a bigger family but aren't in any hurry to fill it up. They're becoming accomplished in their careers, so that, and having fun, is their focus right now. The next group has already moved past that and are focusing on their family. They have kids, or are having them, and are all great parents, or will be soon. Many of them have already been accomplished in their careers, some are continuing to work, some are not, but all of them seem to have a clear path ahead of them and a realization of their new responsibilities as a parent as well as a wife/husband/friend/sister/brother/daughter/son. Finally, we have our single friends who are truly still living it up, working in great careers and really focusing on figuring out who they are and what they want in life. They can go anywhere, and do anything they want (obviously within reason) because there is no one in the world to tie them down but themselves. And in watching all my friends (proudly I might add) maneuver through life so gracefully, it sometimes makes me wonder where that leaves me.

I'm married, and very happily so. But I don't exactly fall into any of these categories. We don't have kids yet, I don't have a career yet. All I have is potential for these things. I feel like for my whole life, all I've had is potential for great things. Potential is fantastic when you're 18 and the world is your oyster, but the older I get the more I wish the potential would be realized and I could move on. People always talk about how when you go into medicine you have to put your life on hold for about 10 years. Well, I'm not ready to make peace with that. That would make me 36 before life really begins. What the hell is that? I'm not even remotely interested in putting my life on hold for 10 years, but it's a very odd place that leaves me in. No kids, no job, just school.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not really unhappy. I like school. I want medicine to be my career. But I can't help but get a touch green when I see all the great things my lovely friends are doing. I can't help but feel a little lonely in my odd position. And I can't help but feel a bit bad for J, he would be one of those successful friends if he didn't have me to take care of. Although he never complains, and is much more farsighted than I am when it comes to all this. He realizes that in taking all this time to do this, we'll end up in a better place over all. I suppose I should take a page from his book and appreciate the potential for a little longer. I'm sure it will work out, but sometimes I can't help but hop into my own personal pity party. I suppose in a couple days I'll realize that summer is too fun to worry about this stuff, and the party will end but for now, a little venting was necessary. Thanks for hearing me out.

Keeping busy

So, it's felt like a relatively slow week. Getting over whatever I had took a lot longer than I expected, and even today I am not 100%. But, I find that I don't notice it as much when I stay busy, so I'm looking for some activities for today to keep my mind of my stupid headache. I get the feeling Rocky will get a long walk out of the deal. Yesterday we went to Chatfield state park, and that was awesome! It was pretty empty since it was mid-week, and the weather was perfect. There's these dog beaches where dogs can run off leash and swim, which is pretty much Rocky's best day. While I ran laps around the central pool, with the GPS to see how far I was going, Rocky jumped in the pool and swam along the shore and would hop out and run with me for awhile before jumping back into the water. He had a blast, and all the people there thought he was a trip. Of course then he needed a serious shower when we got home, but it was worth it, and now he's all soft and smells good for once!

I'm thinking today Rocky and I will go for a walk, I'll do some yoga and then I'll work on baking some rolls. I've made lots of loaves of bread, but never sandwhich rolls, so I think it's time to try. And I have some good movies from the library too, so that should keep me busy. Tonight J and I will be heading ot to Cherry Creek State park to a long bike ride, so I better tucker Rocky out during the day, because I don't think it's the best idea to bring him along while we're on our bikes, he tends to lean into you when he's on a walk, and I'm not all that steady when it comes to biking.

Well, I suppose none of these plans will come to fruition if I don't get off my butt and get moving. It promises to be a busy and fun weekend, so I'm not sure when I'll be back, but I'll have lots to report when I am!

One more sick day

Well, I'm still all plugged up but I think I'm turning the corner. I feel like every year in June I get the dreaded summer flu. I know I should feel like it's better than during school, but I definitely would rather be more miserable during school than the least bit miserable during vacay. I am feeling a bit better today though. Not well enough to go get elbow deep in cadaver juice, but hopefully well enough to take the big guy for a walk later, definitely not a run though.

I've come to the realization, after doing nothing but sitting on my rear for the last two days, that I need to learn to shut the thinking machine off. When all you have to think about is whatever terrible daytime tv is in front of you, no good can come from it. I sit here and overthink everything about my life. And inevitably I worry that every choice is the wrong one. One choice I decided is a total waste though, and quite rightly, is the choice to hang out in a derm clinic over the summer. What was I thinking? Derm may have a spectacular lifestyle, and it might be the ultimate challenge to match into, but I have absolutely zero interest in it. So this morning I promptly dropped the class. No thank you.

I am seriously jonesing for a vacation these days. Next week I take of to fabulous Fargo to visit the fam for a couple of days. I fell victim once again to undisclosed flight times for a reduced price and ended up getting into town really late on Wednesday and getting out of town really early on Saturday, so what should have been a 4 day trip is pretty much a 2 day trip because of it. We'll have to make the best of it. J is supposed to be sent out to Sunnyvale CA for a time this summer, and I hope it falls on one of the very few weeks that I could travel with him. Free lodging + southwest fares = affordable vacation to cali for me. It's certainly not a guarantee but my fingers are crossed.

Well, I have the latest JAMA to keep me company today. Probably better company than the trash that's on tv.

Exhausted

Well, it was a really good weekend. We went to the little league game (and didn't get burned this time) and did plenty of baking through the afternoon. We made it to the 80s party and I am sad to report, I have no pictures to post. We just never took any! But I was in full on 80s attire and still can't believe that was ever a good way to dress. Wow. By far the best part of the night was seeing all those lovely ladies I got to know in college. It had been too long and it was a great time.

This morning J and I got up early and got to work on our father's day brunch. I think we did a prety great job because everyone stayed so long that we made dinner too. We now have enough leftovers to last J all week for lunch and probably tomorrow for dinner too. I planned out a whole menu that included a breakfast stromboli, potato casserole, home made caramel rolls from scratch, and Carmine's breakfast sausage. As with any good brunch we had some cranberry pomegranate mimosas too. Because it's never too early to drink from a champagne flute! Let me know if you want the recipe for the stromboli, cuz it was pretty good. I borrowed a bit from my godmothers recipe and another that I found online, but it was a good combo. In the afternoon we watched Tiger Woods tie up the US Open. I'm not a golf fan, but I am a Tiger Woods fan, so I was pretty pumped to watch it.

The only bad thing about the weekend is that I've come down with something. Since last Thursday I've had a killer headache and now my ears and throat are super sore too. And I feel really tired constantly. I emailed in sick for the derm clinic I was going to attend in the morning in the hopes that a really good night's sleep would remedy the situation. I really hope it does so I can get on with my super summer.

I have to say though, I've been having some anxiety over school. It's not fair, I tell you, this is supposed to be the stress free time! It's certainly not as bad as during school, but it's annoying nonetheless. I know I previously wrote about my super sweet MSA project that entailed a summer of watching Grey's and writing about the plight of women in medicine. I have since decided that project is way too fluffy and I need to do something that will at least help a little on the way to residency. But finding a project that won't eat up all my time (and certainly not over the summer) and still be a good project seems like too big a task. The thought of it really freaks me out. I know I have to get on it, but I keep putting it off because I'm tired of feeling stressed. If anyone has any bright ideas on the situation, please let me know, I need all the help I can get.

Well, here's to benadryl and it's fabulous power to lull me to sleep no matter how crappy I feel. Ain't no faster way to forget school stress. Hope your weekends were as fun as mine!